Counseling is nothing new at our house. Some of our kids have hard backgrounds that need to be worked through. Some of them have bad coping skills. Did you know that a tantrum or a rage is a coping skill? Lying can be a coping skill? Sleeping can be a coping skill?
None are healthy ways to cope. They need to be taught new, healthier forms. Forms that actually work.
Guess what? I have a poor coping skill. Eating. Eating junk. If I coped by hitting the carrot bag I wouldn’t count it as poor skill. But ice cream, chocolate and chips (not necessarily together, but maybe) eaten in varying amounts qualifies as poor.
Lately I can add TV watching. Which if you know me is weird, because I’m not an avid TV watcher. In fact, if you put it on in the morning when I’m not fully awake you might get punched. Yet, I’ve been turning to it’s mind-numbing properties. Not a good coping skill either. What goes well with TV? Junk food of course!
Is ice cream inherently bad? Nope. Is watching TV? Nope (unless you count the fact that it’s brainwashing us, but I digress).
Used as a coping skill are they bad? Yep. So why do we do it?
Well, let’s address the eating issue. Eating can give us momentary pleasure hormones. Sugar can give us energy. But eaten in the wrong amounts and the wrong way will lead to a crash that will make us feel worse. Instead of listing all the ins and outs, take a look at this article:
If you do a Google search, you’ll find many other articles like it. I even found one about a bra sensor that can tune you into when you are stressed. No joke! Although it made me laugh. Personally, however, I tend to know when I’m stressed, with or without help from my bra.
Therapists will tell you not only do you need to STOP the bad coping skills, you need to REPLACE it with good ones. Or the bad ones will come right back.
I have a good friend that hits her bubble bath. Exercise is a great coping skill for me. However, it doesn’t work when I only have a minute to spare. In that minute the donut looks very appetizing.
Let’s get the ideas rolling, people! Comment and let me know your thoughts.